Filipinos may be among the most easily-pleased audiences in the world. We yearn for entertainment that mirrors our struggles and makes fun of them, even, just to make things seem light. We look for those that excite us; we cling to ideals, even if they depict larger-than-life characters and scenarios. Take, for example, the immortal Cardo. Start a manhunt, rain gunshots at him, throw him a grenade, and the man remains invincible. Heck, I am tempted to chop him off myself, and I know even that won’t kill him.
Our love for drama and its heroes, however, does not end on directed shows that we see on our screens. It manifests more so in our fanatic quest for leaders. We search for a Cardo everywhere. The hero. The savior who will end years of poverty, fight corruption, end drugs and criminality. The script never changes. And the actors only get bolder and nastier in their haughty promises.
We know the drill, but it’s fun to break down the clow – ehr – our leader wannabes: the actors in politics.
The Ultimate Leading Man
This is the charismatic candidate who just knows when to spew the perfect line. People laugh at his jokes, and fawn over him or his supposedly handsome son. He does not have to say the truth; he does not even need to have a clean and honest record. He only has to be appealing and relatable to the masses.
The Drama Queen
And by queen we mean men who cry at every chance they are confronted with their incompetence. As if stealing taxes and killing people do not insult us enough, they would guilt-trip critics by saying they are exhausted doing their job, and we should at least be thankful they are exerting effort at all.
The Great Pretender
The sudden tricycle driver, construction worker, traffic enforcer. The ones walking on knee-deep water while a dry and elevated sidewalk stares at them. The forced and cringey fictional characters they make for themselves to appear one with the masses because their titles labandera, palengke king, are just sooo believable.
The Budots King
The one whose record is so wrecked and whose ability to steal would put to shame the whole franchise of Money Heist, that he cleverly just budots his way back to power.
The Fake News Peddler
The one who thrives using his army of trolls. Splice a video, take a statement out of context, and voila, a meme to destroy the enemy is on the roll.
The Playing Safe
He's black, he's white, he's everything nice. His allegiance depends on whose side is more popular with the crowd. He can ride along with a strongman and when the boat begins to sink, he decides to jump ship.
Now You See Me, Now You Don't
The ones who appear only during the election period. And once they take the seat, they suddenly vanish into thin air.
The Cardo
While the leading man knows how to swoon, this Cardo knows how to win hearts by showing his rough side. He shows he not only understands the masses; he is one of them. He uses simple clothes, curses, and shows his unstatesmanly side. He then utters promises of eradicating drugs and criminality. He says he hates corruption, but cradles those who are brazen in securing questionable transactions with the government. He fears no tribunal, bows to no one, except when they claim ownership over Philippine territory covered by the nine dash line.
The Innocent (and Ignorant) as Charged
The one who would brag about not stealing the taxpayers' money, while not knowing how to draft laws, either.
The Viral King
The one who has millions of followers on social media, that he suddenly wakes up and believes that qualifies him to run for Senate.
The Character Actor
He is not friends with the limelight. He is not as eloquent as his counterparts but when a task is at hand, he sees through it and acts upon issues right away. His honest and well audited track record is awarded by critics. He is not the most popular among the fandom but he proves effective as the entire scene falters without him carrying it on his shoulders.
These and more are shoved down our throat as if our whole life depends on these elected officials. And perhaps, a big part of it does. When the dust settles, and the ones who emerge victorious are seated, the time to address the real issues begins: problems with public health, proper compensation for front liners, re-assessment of the COVID response, and more.
A Cardo may entertain, but a Cardo may not be what is needed during these perilous times. Look for sincerity, look for a track record that speaks well of a leader's character and priorities. At the end of the day, no matter how much we mock these actors in politics, it’s our votes that put them there--in whatever pedestal they may be stepping on to. Choose wisely, choose well.
